Summer.
The period when the Sun has more opportunities to bring light to those who expose themselves to its rays coming from afar. It continues to work tirelessly, even though for a few hours of the day it may seem absent. It is still there, and that is enough.
A new day, a new chance. Perhaps it is one of those rays that motivate me to write today.
May I one day be worthy of its efforts!
An afternoon at the beach
End of the year, and as usual at this time of the year, we traveled to visit family in the countryside of São Paulo.
I was born and raised in Taubaté, which is just a few hours away from Ubatuba, on the north coast of the state. In a way, I can say that I grew up between Taubaté and Ubatuba, with the sea as my "backyard".
We traveled to the beach, a few more days of summer with family. It was a hot afternoon when I decided to go into the sea.
I headed towards the horizon, with the waves crashing against me and causing that familiar discomfort of the cold water hitting my chest.
Trying to postpone the moment when I would have to surrender to those waters and end the suffering, I continued moving forward hesitantly. Until, finding my courage, I dove in. The suffering was over.
What delicious water!
How could I have been suffering so much and avoiding surrendering to that sea just a few minutes ago?
Why didn't I do it as soon as I felt the impact of the first waves?
I looked back. My father was coming right behind me, struggling against the waves, the same painful action of wanting to postpone the inevitable.
– If you don't choose the water, the water will choose you! - I shouted, not knowing exactly where those words came from.
Soon I thought: there is a lesson here.
I returned home, and that thought accompanied me. For days it kept coming back as if it wanted me to look at it more closely.
And like the sea insisting that I experience its waters up close, here I am reflecting on this stubborn thought.
What we don't see
Some questions have taken shape:
‘‘Why does it take us so long to dive into the sea and end our suffering of getting wet little by little?
‘‘If we generally know that we will go through it, why do we enter the sea?
I know, they seem like silly questions. However, I realized that there was a certain depth hidden in these seemingly simple questions, and by expanding their context to life, we can draw important reflections.
1. Leaving the comfort zone is distressing
We start from a familiar context: dry, on solid ground, and warmed.
And we move to an unfamiliar context: wet, swaying in the water, and cold.
Our comfort zone is our area of operation, a secure, familiar, controlled, and limited zone.
The comfort zone is limited to space. If we stay out of the water for a while, we adapt to that environment; likewise, we adapt to the water after spending a period immersed in it. The transition from one environment to another is uncomfortable. We cannot be in the water and out of the water at the same time, so the comfort zone is limited to space.
The comfort zone is limited to time. Our memory is responsible for retaining a portion of time within us. We may have entered the sea several times in life, but if we spend some time without entering again and do not remember the experience itself, repeating it will be distressing again. A surfer who lives by the beach probably won't suffer when entering the water every day to surf. By keeping that memory of the constant experience in mind, their comfort zone encompasses that portion of time.
And this comfort zone is not restricted to the sensations experienced by our physical body but also exists in our emotions and thoughts.
When a romantic relationship is not going well, for example, we may still be coexisting with the other, but the other's love is no longer present in our emotional space, causing distress and suffering. Another example occurs when we hold a grudge against someone. Forgiving means freeing ourselves from the burden we have become accustomed to living with, which is part of our emotional comfort zone; letting go of this resentment is painful.
On the mental plane, we create fantasies and start living in this illusory world. The illusion becomes our mental comfort zone. We develop expectations about people and events that, when unfulfilled, force us to leave the illusory comfort zone for reality, but not without suffering.
It seems inevitable that when leaving the comfort zone, we experience a dose of temporary suffering.
2. Consciousness arises from contrast
The most unpleasant sensation when entering the sea is feeling that cold water against the body. It's interesting to observe that we are not conscious of the temperature of our body until it comes into contact with the water. To us, the water is cold, but to the water, it's our body that is warm.
As we enter the water, we recognize that temperature exists. The contrast between the warm and the cold allows us to gain knowledge of its existence. Now, we take ownership of an aspect of ourselves: the temperature of our body. In other words, we acquire more consciousness.
Consider this image:
What if I told you that both sides of the image have the same drawing?
The difference between the two sides is that the left-side drawing is in white ink, and the right-side one is in black ink.
The contrast of black against the white background is what allows us to recognize that the drawing exists, and from it, we can draw a series of conclusions: it's a drawing of a bee, she is smiling, probably drawn by a child, etc.
Wouldn't this be the role of contrasts? Allowing us to expand our knowledge?
As we step out of our comfort zones, we come into contact with contrasts.
Contrasts enable us to gain more knowledge about ourselves, just like in the drawing of the bee. For example, witnessing an act of injustice makes me realize that justice exists, and from that, I can arrive at certain conclusions: it must be something different from what I am seeing; if it exists in that action, it must also be present in my actions because I, too, perform actions in the world; are my actions more just or unjust? Notice that in a hypothetical world where perfect justice reigns, we would never know if we are just or unjust, there is no contrast.
This knowledge helps us take possession of ourselves, acquire awareness.
And this awareness allows us to position ourselves better in the world, make better decisions, be faithful to our values, act in accordance with what we think and feel. In other words, leaving the comfort zone is the gateway that leads us to a path of unity within ourselves, a path with more coherence.
Plato said that God is the One; therefore, any path leading to Unity would be bringing us closer to God. In this sense, the more we develop the courage - which means "action of the heart" - to step out of our physical, emotional, and mental comfort zones, the closer we will be to this mystery that is God.
‘‘Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality which guarantees the others.— Aristotle
3. Nature wants us wiser
We keep trying to avoid the waves, even though it's an impossible task.
The waves on the beach continue to come relentlessly, one after another, forcing us to come into contact with the water, making us face the contrast of our warm body with the cold water, pushing us out of our comfort zone, expanding awareness.
Wouldn't the same apply to the problems and obstacles that appear one after another in life?
It's as if nature uses the waves of the sea to teach us something. Each time a wave crashes into us, forcing us to come into contact with it, it's as if it's shouting, "move!" Move where? Into the water or with the waves. We can jump over small waves, but there is no alternative if they are larger.
By choosing to move into the water, we still feel the waves passing through us, but they no longer affect us as much. There is no violent shock that drags us. It's a dive into ourselves, into self-knowledge that will help us make better decisions, think better, feel better, act better, and consequently, benefit everything around us.
‘‘Know thyself, and thou shalt know the Universe.— Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Ancient Greece
Choosing to move with the waves, we need to be prepared, know how to swim, or be well-equipped with a board. The wise one is the one who knows how to swim, flows with the waves as if they were one, and reaches the shore without much difficulty. However, we are not yet wise, and we need suitable equipment to flow with life: our virtues.
Our virtues are the equipment always with us, but we often set them aside and struggle to find them when we need them most. They are like glasses we place on our heads and search in vain everywhere just when we need to see something. We must first find the glasses within us and then use them.
Virtues are our potential, our spiritual strengths, always present but not always active, enabling us to overcome life's challenges.
‘‘Virtue empowers human individuals to perform noble actions.— Aristotle
It's as if, through the waves, nature wants us to develop, after courage, intelligence. The word intelligence originates from Latin and means "to choose among," that is, to discern. It offers us the opportunity to take action with each wave it sends: we can move or suffer by remaining still. We choose the suffering of being repeatedly taken out of our comfort zone by life until we learn to discern the real from the unreal, the eternal from the transient.
Nature encourages us to discern but doesn't do it for us. We have free will.
Nature wants us wiser.
4. Hidden motivation
And why do we enter the sea?
There seem to be many reasons. Certainly, if we asked each person on the beach, we would receive many different answers: "because it's fun, the sea is there for us to enjoy!" "because I love the sea! It's great to have the family gathered here," "because in the sea, I can ride a boat, eat crab, and have a beer," and so on.
All these are very valid perceptions from the point of view of those experiencing the sea. Each person coming into contact with the sea has their own purpose in relating to it.
However, a relationship consists of two agents. Does the sea not have its own purpose in relating to us?
By constantly sending waves without stopping, does it not want us to take a deep dive and come out the other side more purified?
By sending big and strong waves, does it not want us to approach the shore more quickly? To that point where the waves no longer hit us?
In a lasting relationship, we usually have common goals. If we had the same goal as the sea, would the time we spend in it not become more fluid? Without so much anguish and suffering?
By aligning our objectives with the sea's objectives, would we not be sailing side by side in a continuous flow towards the shore?
Plotinus, a neoplatonic philosopher, said:
‘‘I am striving to give back the Divine in myself to the Divine in the All.— Plotinus
It seems that there is a force of nature pushing everything toward unity, whether inward, seeking that unity within us, or outward, seeking unity with what is external to us. It's as if something deep within us, something permanent, wants us to become aware of its existence through its contrast: the transient. And this permanent part of us, this portion of the One within us, motivates us to unite with the portion of the One in everything. I believe that this force that propels us has been doing so for a long time, probably for ages, as it does not seem to be an easy task.
This hidden motivation would be the impulse that makes us enter life, even though mentally we end up creating other goals that may not necessarily be Life's goals for us.
It is through leaving our comfort zone, contacting contrasts, with the different, that life teaches us to dive deep into ourselves and shows us the direction we should follow. By knowing ourselves, we discover our virtues and have the opportunity to have mastery over ourselves and navigate this turbulent sea.
As we gain control, we acquire more conditions to unite with the goal of life. And by doing so, we approach the mystery of the One and no longer experience suffering.
Sidarta Gautama, the Buddha, spoke about this in his Four Noble Truths:
‘‘1. Suffering exists
2. The cause of suffering is desire for the transient
3. It is possible to end suffering
4. Suffering is ended through the Noble Eightfold Path: Right views, Right intentions, Right speech, Right conduct, Right livelihood, Right effort, Right mindfulness, and Right concentration — Buda
By learning to navigate, even a little, we can assist others who are being swept away, like someone throwing a rope to a person being carried by the current. Virtues are always altruistic; they are forces of the human being driven by the will to be a better person for oneself and for the world. Will drives us to act with kindness, justice, respect, patience, generosity, etc.; and to do this with ourselves, with others, and with all things.
The waves push us in one direction: solid ground, where we can navigate by ourselves. On land, we no longer need the waves to teach us about contrasts. Until then, we need the sea to learn to flow with its currents and reach solid ground. Propelled by the force of our will, we overcome the horizontality of the sea and conquer the verticality of the land, reach the shore, and can walk with conviction, carrying in our being the salt that learning from the sea's waves has provided us.
